2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital:  1 I.V. League

2000 pounds of Chinese soup:  Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash:  1 microscope

Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier:  Mach Turtle

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling:  1 lite-year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone:  1 Rod Sterling

Half of a large intestine:  1 semi-colon

One million aches:  1 megahurtz

Weight an evangelist carries with God:  1 billigram

Basic unit of laryngitis:  1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes:  A straight line

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

A half-bath:  1 demijohn

453.6 graham crackers:  1 pound cake

Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first step of a one-mile journey:  1 Milwaukee

1 million microphones:  1 megaphone

1 million bicycles:  2 megacycles

2200 mockingbirds:  two kilomockingbirds

10 cards:  1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs:  1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks:  1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish:  1 microfish

1 trillion pins:  1 terrapin

1 million billion picolos:  1 gigolo

10 rations:  1 decoration

100 rations:  1 C-ration

10 millipedes:  1 centipede

3 1/3 tridents:  1 decadent

10 monologs:  5 dialogs

5 dialogs:  1 decalog

2 monograms:  1 diagram

8 nickels:  2 paradigms

2 wharves:  1 paradox

100 Senators:  Not 1 decision